“I tried to be friends with someone, but I gave up because “they seem like they already have enough friends.”
1. Having “enough friends” means something different to every single person.
No one else can quantify what “enough friends” means for anyone but themselves. This is a deeply personal reflection. One that will have different answers in different phases of life.
*BTW — Did you think fewer people as time goes on? Read #2.
I don’t believe most people have even considered how supported they feel.
Read that again.
Let alone, feel like they have the ability + tools to change how supported they feel?
P.S. I am developing an entire workbook sharing my reflection process. Want to be the first to know when it’s released? Signup here.
If you aren’t sure, then you need to sit down and reflect. Consider how you feel ]
- On an average day
- In times of high stress
- In happy moments
- In sad moments
- Amidst big life changes
- In different areas of your life — career, adventure, parenting, life changes
- What about in persuing different interests + passions?
Taking the time to reflect is the only way to know if someone has “enough friends.”
The only person that can know the answer to this is the person themselves, so don’t make any assumptions about someone else.
For some people, 1-2 friends are enough. Others prefer a variety of people. Some feel supported In a certain area of life, but not in others. Maybe a person has great friends, but no one else can understand their career choices and pressures.
All of these are reasons that someone might want to add a person or two to their people.
2. Having “enough friends” changes as people’s lives change.
Most people’s immediate thought — “Yes, Alex!!! You nailed it. As my life got more difficult, I couldn’t handle more people.”
Well, I want to push you to consider the other way.
What if as life got more stressful more people meant that you felt more supported. What if as you transitioned into being a parent, you added more people into your life that loved on you and your partner and your newest addition. (P.S. if you are solo-parenting, I grew up in a single-parent household and I SEE YOU working so hard)
Consider that maybe it’s not that you need fewer people. Maybe you need new + different people. Maybe you need to ask different things of your current people. OR to ask different things of your current people.
In much of the western world, our society teaches us that the ultimate success is to be able to handle all the burdens of life amongst your nuclear family unit.
Think about that — do you really think that success if doing it all alone?
HEY! If you want to share, here is a link to my original IGTV.
3. Remember that people post their highlight reels on the internet, not their struggles.
Want to see more videos like this as soon as I release them? They appear on Instagram @eternalhostess first. Go hit follow to hear them first!
So what’s really happening when you say I think that person has “enough friends”.
Community is a never-ending journey.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! I spend most of my time over on Instagram @eternalhostess and I’m inviting you to the party. I love chatting, so send me a DM with your thoughts.
